2004-09-26 - 8:54 p.m.

I officially hate school. It is totally interfering with my social life. I got totally shitcanned Monday because I had a test that morning and couldn't go out and celebrate on Wendesday. Why? Stupid tests. I went to Cy's with Jenn and Adam came too. It was a good time, but I was hurting the next morning. Oops. My b-day was pretty uneventful. I had an ag council meeting, then Mike, Dustin and a few other people went out to celebrate. Matt (my bartender crush, whom I've probably talked about already in here) was there with some ditzy blond chick. Yeah, but the red sox were on and Matt and I were the only people getting excited about it. They won though, so that was great!
I went out with Adam Friday night and once again got wasted. I had a really bad day cause I totally failed my test that I studied really hard for, so that wasn't cool at all. I didn't eat Friday, and was drinking gin so it didn't take long for me to feel good. So Adam took me home and we stayed up until 5am. Saturday wasn't cool because I was sick all day. :(
I worked Saturday night sick as hell and Michael was once again asking about Adam. He really doesn't leave the subject alone and it is kinda driving me nuts because I can't tell him that I like him still so much more than anyone I'm with now. He did another sweet thing though, I guess he got Jack Johnson's CD and thought I would like it so he brought it in for me. How cute was that? Which means that he was thinking about me when he listened to it. And he knows me well because I do love JJ, I have that cd. I can't help but wonder if we're both dating other people to try to forget about "us". I'm not dating Adam to replace him or anything, I think Adam's great, but there is still a huge part of me that is Michael's and probably always will be. Its hard not to compare the feelings I have for both of them, but when Adam kisses me, I don't get the same feeling when Michael did. That butterfly feeling that takes your breath away. that's what he did to me, which was amazing. I dont know, it'll be interesting to see how things play out.
Today was pretty uneventful, I went to the bar with Dustin to watch the BoSox kick some Yankee ass. I saw Matt there too, looking cute as always. We chatted for a while, it's always good to see him. He remembered my birthday when I saw him Wednesday which I thought was pretty cute. I guess Adam knows him pretty well which kinda weirds me out but he doesn't know I like(d) Matt. I don't think I would ever date him though because he seems like the big player type, simply because he can being a hot bartender and all. Hell, I should know about that! :) kidding. Dustin thinks I overanalyze everything... haha I don't know what he's talking about!
So that's the scoop right now. Nothing too exciting really, but nothing too dramatic either- which is good. Writing in here has cured 20 minutes of my boredom...

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