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2003-12-15 - 3:22 a.m. Why do I like him? Why why why??? I don't know, but itd be a hell of a lot easier if I didn't. Sorry I haven't updated in a while, I've been really sick. I had the flu, and a temp of 102 and was def hallucinating. Not good. But I'm getting better. So I worked tonight and last night too, and the love just isn't going away. Jealous when girls hit on him, even more so when he flirts back. Not so good. I'm hoping all this will be gone when I get to Boston and see Ted again. Although there may not be love the way it was before, at least its something to take my mind off of him. God damnit. Seriously. And its not like I know if he likes me or not, I have no CLUE how he feels. No freaking idea, and it really sucks. He's just so beautiful though. With those hazel eyes and blondish hair. And how cute his butt looks in black khakis. Fuck me. (no really, please do.) See and what's different about bartender Matt and him is that crushes (like Matt) don't last long, but real feelings do. And I've liked him for a LONG time. Way before we had the one night fling. AHHH!! I don't know. I guess things will be on the DL for quite a while. We'll see if things change over the next 3 weeks, although I doube they will. You know what it is? Its that damn cologne he wears. That damn Aqua Di Gio. Gets me every time. Whoever made that stuff needs to die, or be praised. I'm not sure which yet. Anyway, I have fun finals to study for, so hasta luego. oh, and Michael, (not like he reads this, but it just helps to get feelings out) I really do like you. A lot.
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